Until the real thing comes along...

Marquette with his mouse.

Tacumwah with her mouse.

Me with my mouse.

Sitting up with my mouse.

Mommy went to Wal*Mart today. She brought home, among other things, some small catnip mice. Tacumwah got to the bag first, so Mommy gave her a mouse. Then Marquette stole Tacumwah's mouse and ran off growling with it in his mouth. Tacumwah got another mouse. Mommy had planned on rationing the mice, but soon all three were in play because, of course, I had to have one also. So the photos for today are the three of us with our mice.

Mommy was complaining about her Wal*Mart bill. She said that most of it was for pet supplies and that she had to stand on her feet at the Georgetown Library for almost 4 hours or 1/6 of her 3-day workweek to pay for these items. Let's discuss this, shall we?

$11.52 - canned dog food

6.24 - Milk Bone dog biscuits

10.94 - cat litter

1.52 - Pounce cat treats

1.94 - catnip mice

1.64 - dinner bowl for me (Is THAT all she paid for it?)

$33.80 - total or 35.7% of a $94.47 total.

That total does not reflect shallots ($2.48) which can be classified as either an ingredient that Mommy uses in her wine reduction sauce or a toy for Marquette to bat around the house.

Some shared items include milk at $2.72 a gallon, cheese at $5.00 for an 8 oz. package, ground chuck at $5.78 for 2 1/4 lbs., and ice cream at $5.96 for two small pints. (It is doubtful that we will get any Haagen Dazs.)

Now let's get a definition of the word pet: a domesticated animal kept for companionship or amusement.

There, you see...I am NOT a pet. I am an integral part of and a working member of this household. My job description includes, but is not limited to, the following:

Personal Trainer - As a personal trainer I keep Marquette in shape so that he will not get fat. I perform this duty several times a day. If you hire a personal trainer you can expect to pay anywhere between $25 -$90 per hour for his/her services.

Natural Healer - As a natural healer I reduce stress and anxiety and lower blood pressure. Do you pay for mood elevators or blood pressure prescriptions? The costs of these meds can be many dollars per day. Neither of my mommies is on meds for these issues.

Entertainer - Have you gone to the movies lately? Then you know that two tickets, cinema popcorn and soda can run you $30! I give two performances a day, in the morning and the evening, 7 days per week. (No matinees. I am too busy resting between performances!)

Family therapist - As the family therapist I allow Mommy to vent about whatever concerns her. I soak up tears and listen without interrupting or judging, letting Mommy lay all her concerns on the table so that she can see how minor they are compared to the concerns of most other people. Expect to pay an average of $100 per hour to converse with a family therapist.

Pest control management - As you know from one of my first posts, I successfully eliminated ALL of the garage crickets when I was quarantined in the garage. (Dexter did kill one when he was quarantined in the garage with the other Ohio kittens.) Last night I killed a small spider in the hallway. I keep my skills sharp by stalking, pouncing on and destroying the catnip toys. When we move to the farm I will be ready for any foreigner who enters the cottage! Orkin is currently giving a $30 discount on their service, so you can just imagine what they must charge to come to your home!

I rest my case!

~There is no such thing as a free kitten.~